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The Daddy Plan
Karen Rose Smith
She had her baby plans all mapped out. . . Sam Barclay would father her child and Corrie Edwards would get the baby she always wanted. It was supposed to be a strictly business arrangement. Romance wasn't on Corrie's radar. Then Sam decided he wanted to be a real daddy to his child. The closer they came to conception, the more Sam wanted to make things personal.Could he convince Corrie that, together, they had what it took to create the home and family they both craved?
“Sam, I’m so happy you agreed to do this. Thank you.”
His eyes were intent on hers and she felt the heat between them. The cold day didn’t seem to touch her at all while she was enfolded in Sam’s arms.
And when he bent his head, when his lips settled on hers almost possessively, she’d never been warmer in her entire life.
As quickly as they’d come together, he broke away.
“I shouldn’t have done that again,” he muttered.
“We got caught up in the moment. No harm done.”
He looked so relieved she wanted to cry. “Yeah, I guess we did. It’s not as if—” He stopped. “We want to keep this simple.”
“Right. You’re still on the rebound. And the last thing I need right now is an involvement with a man when all I want to do is have a baby and raise it on my own terms.”
His eyes narrowed. “Not altogether on your own terms.”
Karen Rose Smith, an award-winning and bestselling author, has seen more than sixty novels of her published since 1991. Living in Pennsylvania with her husband—who was her college sweetheart—and their two cats, she has been writing full-time since the start of her career. Lately, in addition to writing, she has been crafting jewellery with her husband. She finds designing necklaces and bracelets relaxing enough to let her mind weave plots while she’s beading! Readers can receive updates on Karen’s latest releases and write to her through her website at www.karenrosesmith.com (http://www.karenrosesmith.com), or at PO Box 1545, Hanover, PA 17331, USA.
The Daddy Plan
Karen Rose Smith
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
For all animal lovers, especially the veterinarians and their staff who care for our pets.
Chapter One
“Will you donate your sperm so I can have a baby?” Corrie Edwards asked her boss.
At his family’s cabin in Minnesota’s snowy woods, Sam Barclay didn’t know whether to laugh out loud or head to the lake for ice-fishing.
Six weeks ago, he’d driven to the cabin to escape the holidays, take a vacation from his veterinary practice, forget his broken engagement and get a perspective on his life.
“You are kidding, right?” His veterinary assistant didn’t understand how much the question unsettled him. He’d called off his wedding because his fiancée had hidden her abortion from him.
“I’m serious, Sam,” Corrie answered with a determined look. “I didn’t drive four hours in this weather without a good reason.”
She was still dressed in her yellow parka, snowflakes melting in her curly red-brown hair. He and his partner had hired her three years ago as a veterinary assistant after they’d bought the clinic.
Studying the brightness of her blue eyes, the dance of freckles across her nose, he felt a tightening in his gut he didn’t want to recognize. This was Corrie for heck’s sake! He was her boss. They talked about animals, the weather and life in Rapid Creek. They’d never had a “personal” conversation.
But you shared, one out-of-this-world, earthshaking kiss, a nudging voice inside his head reminded him.
That had been two years ago…before Alicia.
“Take off your coat and tell me what this is all about. I’ll make a pot of coffee.”
As Corrie slipped off her parka and hung it over a straight-backed chair, Sam noticed the way her blue sweater fell over her breasts, how the fabric hung free of her very slim waist. Her legs were long in her stretch leggings and high boots.
Desire kicked him and forced him to concentrate on making coffee in the galley kitchen. Still, he was aware of Corrie gravitating toward Patches. His brown-and-black mutt had the distinguishing attributes of a Labrador, but about ten other breeds mixed in, too. Jasper, a small buff-colored cocker spaniel who trailed into the cabin with Corrie, had settled down in Patches’s big bed. His dog didn’t seem to mind. Patches flopped down in front of Corrie, thrilled to have her scratch his ears.
For some insane reason, Sam suddenly wondered what Corrie’s touch might feel like—
He swore.
“Something wrong?” she asked, glancing toward him. The cabin was too small to hide a sound or much of anything else.
As her eyes roamed over his face, dropped to his flannel shirt and jeans, he had the feeling she was sizing him up…or else his genes?
He felt heat crawl up under his scruffy week-old beard. “Nothing’s wrong. The coffee will be ready in a few minutes.”
As he lowered himself beside her on the sofa, he felt her tense, saw her shoulders square a bit, her chin go up as if she were ready for a fight or an argument.
Corrie, a fighter?
It was as if her question had unlocked a box that he’d always designated for steady, melt-into-the-background Corrie Edwards and someone else had popped out.
Gently, he asked, “So you want to be a mother?”
When she looked at him, her eyes were shiny with emotion. “I’ve always wanted to be a mother. I’ve just never met the right man. I don’t think I ever will. I’m not getting any younger.”
His protest came easily. “You’re only thirty-three.” A year older than he was.
“Thirty-three might be young as far as the rest of my lifetime goes, but in child-bearing years—” She shook her head. “I have a classmate in Minneapolis who’s thirtyeight. She got pregnant and was doing just fine, then all of a sudden she developed preeclampsia. She almost died. I have another friend in St. Paul who’s thirty-five. She just had her first baby. Her daughter is six months old, but she never imagined raising her would be so difficult—that she wouldn’t have the energy she used to have. She’s so exhausted day after day.”
“That doesn’t mean you’d be like that.”
“I know. But I really want to be a mother, Sam. A mom like my mother was to me. Each year that passes my eggs are getting older and I’m not as fertile. I don’t want to end up childless because I didn’t do this soon enough.”
“And my sperm qualify because…?” He waited, needing to know why she’d come to him.
She laid her hand on his arm. “You’re…” She paused and flushed a bit. “You’re great-looking. You’re a good age. And you’re wonderful with Kyle. I’ve seen you with him.”
His nephew Kyle, who was five, was one of his favorite people. In fact, he liked kids as much as animals. They didn’t have ulterior motives and their reactions were honest.
“I’m flattered, Corrie, really I am. But becoming a father this way—” Her hand on his arm was damn distracting. He had the feeling she didn’t even know it was there. After all, they were just boss and employee. They’d always pretended that kiss had never happened.
She removed her hand from his forearm. “You don’t have to be a father in the real sense. I mean, this could just be a business arrangement. You donate your sperm and that’s that.”
He’d donate his sperm and that was that? “If you got pregnant and I had a child, don’t you think I’d want to be in his life?”
“I don’t know. Would you?”
He thought about Alicia, what she’d done, the sorrow he’d felt, the absolute sense of betrayal. He couldn’t imagine having a child and not wanting to be part of his or her life. “Do you know how sticky this could get?”
“Or not.” She put the emphasis on the not. “If I became pregnant, if I have a baby, I would want a male role model in his or her life. You could fit in that way. As I said, I’ve seen you with Kyle. You’d be great. But I also know your brother Nathan said you’re researching setting up veterinary clinics in foreign countries. If you decide that’s something you want to do, you wouldn’t have any strings tying you here.”
“A child is one awfully big string.”
Corrie studied him. “I thought men just wanted to donate their sperm then shirk responsibility.”
“Where did you get your opinion of men?”
Corrie’s cheeks reddened. “It doesn’t matter where my opinion comes from, does it? I just don’t believe becoming a father is on most men’s agendas when they have sex. They walk away as soon as something goes wrong…as soon as they see someone else they’d rather be with.”
Sam wanted to shout, That’s not true. My mother was the one who walked away. But he didn’t. Corrie’s opinion was Corrie’s opinion. Something obviously had happened to her to make her believe it. Hadn’t he himself concluded in the past few weeks that he was destined to be a bachelor? His father had trusted a woman and she’d walked out on her husband and kids. Sam had taken a chance on love and had been hurt just as badly.
“Let me tell you something, Corrie. If I were to father a child, I would not shirk my responsibility. That’s something you’d have to decide whether you could live with or not.”
Her eyes widened. “I never expected you’d want to be…involved.”
Because after their kiss in the tavern that New Year’s Eve they’d ignored the chemistry, ignored the possibility of connection? Why had he ignored it?
The answer came swiftly. He’d sensed Corrie had walls he’d have difficulty breaking down. Besides neither of them had wanted to tamper with a boss-employee relationship that worked. Apparently neither of them had been ready for a relationship much more intimate than that.
He was aware of a pleasant scent that always seemed to surround Corrie, something like peaches and vanilla. It must be a lotion she used or a shampoo. Right now, inhaling it, studying her heart-shaped face, the wild mass of auburn curls, the scent wrapped itself around him.
Needing that cup of coffee, he rose to his feet and went to the kitchen. Her gaze followed him, and he found himself unnerved by her proposition. He should just say no. Why was he even considering it?
Because becoming a dad, even in this way, could give purpose to his life? A purpose it didn’t have now?
Jasper suddenly decided he’d had enough of a nap. He stood, shook himself and came trotting over to Sam to look up at him expectantly.
“What can I do for you?” Sam asked, eager to change the subject, at least for a little while until he got his thoughts together.
“Whenever I go to my kitchen, he wants a treat. I have a few in my coat pocket.”
Before Corrie could rise from the sofa, Sam said, “I’ll get them.” He went to her coat and found a bag. He took out a treat. The pup stood up on hind legs and danced around Sam until Sam dropped it into his mouth.
“You haven’t told me why you’re taking care of Shirley Klinedinst’s dog.”
The expression on Corrie’s face changed and her voice lowered. “Shirley passed on two weeks ago.”
“Oh, Corrie, I’m sorry.” He knew Corrie and the older woman had gotten close. Shirley’s old farmhouse on the outskirts of town had been too much for her to handle and had fallen into disrepair. Shirley had had no relatives in town and Sam knew Corrie had stopped in at least once a week to check on her and help out.
“Her lawyer called me after she was taken to the hospital and said he had instructions to bring Jasper to me if anything happened to her…at least until her estate is settled. Apparently she made some kind of arrangement for Jasper in her will. I said I’d take care of him, of course.”
As soon as Jasper finished crunching on his treat, he ran over to Corrie and jumped up onto the sofa beside her. She laughed and hugged him and Sam felt himself touched in some way. Oh, he saw Corrie with animals every day. She handled them confidently and expertly. But seeing her with Jasper now…was different somehow. In his mind, he imagined her growing large with child, cuddling the baby after it was born, chasing after a toddler. The Corrie Edwards he was seeing today was very different from the one he’d summarily dismissed the past few years.
Was the change in him today, or was it in her?
Or had the question she’d asked him changed his perception of her? Maybe that question had made him see her as a woman rather than an employee.
“You can’t drive back this evening, you know.”
Her head came up and her gaze locked to his. “Why not?”
“You’re going to be snowed in. The crews won’t clear this road until the snowplows take care of the interstate.”
“I have four-wheel drive.”
“Be realistic, Corrie. It’s already getting dark. What if you get stranded? There’s no cell phone reception. You couldn’t even call me.”
She looked down at the little cocker spaniel, and he knew she was thinking about Jasper, too. She wouldn’t do anything to put that animal in harm’s way. “I didn’t plan on staying. I didn’t bring extra clothes—”
“Or a toothbrush?” he teased. “What? You were planning to run in here, drop that question on me, then run out again? Why didn’t you just wait until I came back? Nathan and Sara’s wedding is next weekend, and I can’t miss it.”
“I heard about the wedding. But honestly, that’s another reason I drove up here today. I thought it might be awkward working together until you gave me an answer. I didn’t want you to feel…pressured.”
“Once I give you my decision, we’ll still be working together.”
“I know. But if you don’t want to do it, we’ll just go on as if I never asked.”
In other words, Corrie wanted him to give this plan of hers serious thought without any distractions.
Sam’s knee brushed hers as he shifted toward her. “You want me to consider your idea seriously.”
Her eyes grew shiny. “This means a lot to me, Sam.”
He knew Corrie had lost her mom shortly before taking the job with him and Eric, but he didn’t know much else about her background. “Do you have brothers or sisters…family?”
“My dad is in Minneapolis. But we’re…not close. I always wanted brothers and sisters. You’re lucky to have two brothers.” Corrie sounded wistful.
“Nathan and Ben are great when they mind their own business. But every once in a while, they’re not busy enough with their own lives and think they have to poke into mine.” Sam was the youngest, Nathan the eldest and soon to be a newlywed. These days Nathan’s fiancée, Sara, and his son Kyle were his sole focus. Ben was the middle brother, an Assistant District Attorney in Albuquerque, New Mexico, and a cynic about women and life.
“When I was a kid, Ben, Nathan and I were like the Three Musketeers. One for all and all for one. I can’t imagine not having that support. Were you lonely?”
“Sometimes,” she admitted. “But that’s why I took in strays and found them homes.”
He’d always known Corrie was a woman who cared deeply. He could tell because of the way she handled animals. Now he saw there was a depth to her he’d never noticed before. Depth and natural beauty.
If they had a baby together…
A baby.
The thought was running around in his head as if it might want to find a permanent place there. Sitting so close to Corrie, he had the sudden desire to stroke her hair behind her ear, to taste her pretty pink lips—
“We should probably take the dogs out before the snow gets any deeper and the temperature drops for the night,” he decided gruffly.
As he went to the hook beside the door for his ski jacket to brave the January night, he couldn’t help thinking about the fact that Corrie wanted to have his baby. The idea definitely fed his ego.
But it also created turmoil.
Because of what Alicia had done?
He had to figure out the answer before he could give Corrie a yes or a no.
Corrie was ready to jump out of her skin.
Spend the night with Sam Barclay in his cabin? She’d never imagined that in her wildest dreams. Well, maybe she had. Maybe that was the problem.
She felt Sam’s gaze on her as she pretended to watch Jasper romp in the snow. After Patches chased him, the smaller dog returned the favor. All the while, she knew Sam was trying to figure out exactly who she was.
She was a woman who’d had a crush on her boss since she’d been hired. She was a woman who didn’t really attract men because she didn’t want to…with good reason. Her father had been unfaithful to her mother. Corrie would never forget the day she had walked in on him and witnessed that infidelity firsthand. It had changed her relationship with her parents forever. When she’d fallen in love in college, she’d learned the guy hadn’t been in love with her. After they’d made love, he’d moved on to the next challenge, and she’d learned she’d been a dare and a notch on his belt. That experience had set her up to steer clear of any romantic entanglement.
She hadn’t wanted to be attracted to Sam Barclay after he and his partner had hired her. But there was something about his grin, something about his gentle eyes, something about the way he talked to animals that had gotten to her. And then there had been that New Year’s Eve kiss almost two years ago. But afterward he’d never looked her way again. He’d been too busy making a success of the clinic with Eric. And then, last year, he’d fallen hard for travel agent, Alicia Walker, whom he’d met when he was planning a trip to Africa to a game preserve. He and Alicia had been an item until this past August.
No one seemed to know why the couple had broken up, but Corrie had seen how devastated Sam was. She’d worried about him when he’d left for these woods before Thanksgiving, but she’d also realized she had to make something happen in her own life. That had been her New Year’s resolution. It had taken her the past two weeks to find the courage to drive up here.
She’d kept asking herself—What’s the worst that can happen? He could say no.
If he did, she’d go to a fertility clinic in Minneapolis.
But he hadn’t said no yet and that gave her hope.
The wind was picking up. Shivering, Corrie headed for the cabin with Jasper following. “See you inside,” she said brightly as if spending the night with Sam was no big deal, as if the quiet of the cabin wouldn’t have to be filled with conversation, as if she wouldn’t be aware of every move he made, every word he uttered, every glance he cast her way.
Sam was her boss. She had to play this right because whether he said yes or no, she didn’t want to get fired.
Just as he called to her—“Watch out, that bottom step gets slippery”—she found out for herself. Her boot slipped and she would have ended up as a pile in the snow if Sam hadn’t been right there, his arms circling her, his cheek almost brushing hers.
“Are you okay?” His voice was low and husky, his breath warm against her skin. “You didn’t turn your ankle did you?”
Because Sam hadn’t shaved for a while, the stubble on his jaw was as dark as his brown hair. He was so sexy that even with the temperature dropping, hers was warming up.
After gulping in one very cold breath, she managed to say, “My ankle’s fine.”
“I’ll help you up the steps.” He was still looking at her, and she had the weird sensation he was really seeing her for the first time. They’d worked around each other for three years yet this awareness hadn’t been there before. Maybe it was all on her part. After all, she’d always hidden her attraction to him, never let it peek out.
His large hand under her elbow, Sam made sure her footing was secure and steered her to the door. As she opened it and stepped inside, he whistled to Patches and the big dog came running.
Both dogs shook snow from their coats and sent flakes flying.
“Do you have a towel I can use on Jasper?” Corrie asked Sam. “I don’t want his fur to get all matted.”
“Sure, I’ll look for something for you to wear, too.”
“For me to wear?”
“You don’t want to sleep in your clothes do you?”
She hadn’t really thought about it. “I can.”
“No need,” he said with a shrug. “I have a flannel shirt that will probably fall to your knees.”
When Corrie thought about undressing and wearing one of Sam’s shirts, she felt all goose-bumpy; the reaction wasn’t from being outside.
After Sam brought her the towel and laid the shirt on the sofa, she rubbed down Jasper but she could feel Sam’s attention focused on her.
“What?” she asked, looking up from her crouch next to the dog.
“I’m just thinking about you being a mother.”
She felt her cheeks go warm. Was he going to say yes? “And?” She prompted.
He looked uncomfortable and she saw an expression cross his face that she couldn’t read. It looked like sadness. Maybe something even deeper than sadness. “I think you’ll be good at it.”
His words should give her confidence. They were a compliment. But she sensed something was troubling him and she didn’t know what it was. She wasn’t sure they knew each other well enough for him to confide in her. Did his thoughts have something to do with Alicia? Promises they’d made…hopes they’d had?
She’d come to Sam because he had so many qualities she admired—compassion and gentleness at the top of the list. He really was wonderful with his nephew and seemed to like children as much as animals. That’s why she’d imagined he might be open to this idea.
Suddenly Sam muttered in a low voice, “Being a mother is a twenty-four-hour-a-day job.”
She sank back on her heels and let Jasper run off with Patches. “I know that.”
“Some women don’t realize how much of a commitment that is. I guess that’s why they get depressed after they have a baby.”
“I know how much of a commitment motherhood is. I watched my mom raise me by herself after my dad divorced her. I know firsthand what being a single parent is all about.” She also knew what betrayal was all about and infidelity and a man’s inability to keep the most important promise he’d ever made. When she looked at Sam and felt a pull toward him, she had to remember that. She had to remember that attraction didn’t go very far, and neither did the first couple of years of wedded bliss. All she had to do was envision her mother’s tears and she could separate Sam the father to be, from Sam the attractive hunk.
“My parents divorced, too,” Sam admitted. “But my dad raised us. My mother walked out because she wanted other things. Having a family was a commitment that took too much out of her. I guess what I’m saying, Corrie, is that you have to be absolutely sure about this, sure it’s what you want. If you make this decision, you can never go back.”
“I’m not impulsive, Sam,” she argued, while at the same time realizing how hurt Sam must have been by his mother leaving.
He came a few steps closer to her. “It’s just with this, the idea might be a lot more rewarding than the actual reality. Having a baby isn’t easy and raising one is even harder.”
“I can’t let fear hold me back from doing something I’ve wanted my entire adult life. Sure, I love animals, but I want kids, Sam.”
His brows quirked up. “Kids?”
She sighed. “I’ll start with one then go from there.”
“Do you know how much it costs to raise a child nowadays?”
She put her hand up in front of her and almost touched his chest. Almost. “Stop! Just stop. I didn’t come here to ask your permission to have a child. Whether you’re willing to donate your sperm or not, I’m going to do this. It’s not a debate, it’s a dream I’m going to make come true.” She rarely showed her temper to Sam, if ever, but he was making her mad—as if he knew best…as if he were so much more experienced.
Although she thought he might back away, he didn’t. He studied her with his steady brown eyes and she felt all trembly inside. She just wanted his sperm. She didn’t want to feel…attracted. She didn’t even want to think about them parenting together. She knew she couldn’t count on Sam, just as she couldn’t count on any male. She’d thought he’d be good father material, but who actually knew? She was going to be the constant in her child’s life. She was going to make the important decisions. If Sam was the father, well, she’d just see how much he’d stick around. But the bottom line was, she didn’t expect him to.
Because looking into Sam’s eyes gave her an almost breathless feeling, she snatched up his shirt from the sofa. “I’ll change.”
His smile was mischievous. “Don’t you want supper before you turn in?”
She felt like a fool. “I’m really not hungry. I’ll change and then just curl up on the sofa.” Under the afghan. So Sam’s eyes on her wouldn’t make her feel self-conscious.
Sam nodded to his bedroom. “You can sleep in there if you’d like, but it will be warmer out here if I keep the stove stoked. The sofa’s lumpy—”
“The sofa will be great.”
He looked amused again. “It’s your choice.”
She’d rather be warm than sleep in Sam’s bedroom. If she slept in Sam’s bedroom, she knew exactly what scenes would invade her dreams. She wanted no part of imagining him in bed with her. The reality of Sam Barclay was much different than daydream musings she might have entertained while working for him. She wanted to have his baby but in a nonpersonal way.
Getting personally involved with Sam would be much too dangerous to her heart.
Chapter Two
The door to Sam’s bedroom opened.
Corrie sat up, keenly aware of his presence.
“Getting cold?” he asked, his gaze taking in her tumbled curls.
“A little.” He wasn’t wearing a shirt, just gray sweat pants. Her eyes followed the curly path of his chest hair down to the drawstring. She jerked her gaze up to his eyes again.
In the hushed shadows of night and the silence broken only by the snores of the dogs cuddled in the dog bed beside the sofa, something primitive and powerful vibrated between her and Sam. Because it was the middle of the night? Because he was shirtless? Because she thought he was the sexiest man she had ever known?
Breaking the spell, he turned away from her and went to the fireplace. “I’ll have this stoked up again in a minute.”
She couldn’t unglue her gaze from his bare back, his muscled arms and shoulders. “Do you cut your own firewood?”
“Whoever uses the stove has to replace what they burn. So, yes, I’ve been using and replacing since I’ve been here. Why? Are you interested in learning how to split logs?” He glanced over his shoulder at her and his smile was teasing.
“Hardly. I probably couldn’t even handle the ax.”
“I know for a fact you’re stronger than you look. You lifted Mr. Huff’s basset hound. He had to weigh fifty pounds.”
After Sam closed the door to the woodstove insert in the fireplace, he brushed his hands against his thighs.
Corrie’s stomach grumbled and Sam heard it. “You’ve got to be hungry. You hardly ate any supper.”
That’s because she’d felt like an idiot. After she’d taken Sam’s shirt and changed in the bathroom, she’d returned to the living room realizing the darkness outside didn’t mean it was time for bed. She’d been so rattled by their conversation and just being alone with him, that she’d forgotten all sense of time and place. He’d warmed cans of soup. Wrapped in the blanket on the sofa, she’d eaten some, just praying the hours would pass quickly.
While she’d leafed through magazines, Sam had worked at his laptop. Later he’d insisted he take the dogs out. It had been too cold and too snowy for them to stay out long and within fifteen minutes, they were all getting ready for bed.
“How about cookies and hot chocolate?” he asked her now, looking like a kid who knew better but wanted to have a treat anyway.
“We really won’t get any sleep.”
“No, but our sweet tooth will be satisfied and I bet your stomach will stop growling.”
The room was warming already. Letting the blanket fall, she stood. She hadn’t taken off her socks. She felt a bit ridiculous with his shirt on, which stopped just below her knees, and her knee socks which came up to her shins.
“I’ll help you.”
In the small kitchen, they couldn’t turn around without bumping hips, rubbing elbows or standing practically toe to toe. She put two mugs of water in the microwave while he pulled the bag of cookies from the back of the cupboard.
The silence between them grew too full of everything they were both thinking and not saying. Corrie asked, “Did you really come out here to stoke up the stove?”
“I knew the cabin would get cold if I didn’t, but…My mind won’t stop circling around what you asked me. I mean, it’s not like I’m dating you and one night foolishly we’re not protected and suddenly we’re having a baby. That’s altogether different from what you’re planning.”
“Don’t you see, Sam, this is so much better than the scenario you just described? We’re both deciding if this is what we want. We’re planning. If you were to tell me you don’t want to be involved at all, that would be fine. I’ll take full responsibility for this baby. That’s what I want.”
He studied her with an intensity that made her uncomfortable.
“What?”
“I don’t understand why you’re so set on taking this on alone.”
“Alone isn’t so bad. Alone, I don’t have anyone else to answer to. Alone, I can make decisions for my child based on what I think’s best. Alone, I don’t have to worry about what someone else is going to do or say or think.”
“Where does your independence come from, Corrie? What happened to you?”
His question took her aback and she couldn’t just laugh it off. But she couldn’t confide in him, either. They didn’t know each other that well. “I told you, my mom and dad divorced.”
“There’s more to it than that. You’re a caregiver. You don’t hesitate to jump in and take care of a sick animal, to keep someone like Shirley company when she was lonely. What made you this way?”
If she clammed up and shut down, Sam would just turn away from her request as if it was a whim on her part. After thinking about Sam’s question, she finally answered, “When my dad left, my mom and I took care of each other. She was a very loving person and didn’t hesitate to help someone else when she could. I guess I just picked up on that. When she got sick—” She hadn’t meant to say that. She hadn’t meant to go into that.
The microwave beeped and she was glad for the interruption. Turning, she took the mugs of hot water from the small oven.
But Sam was right there, snagging the mugs from her, setting them on the counter. He towered over her while his bare skin, his male scent and his muscled arms seemed to surround her. “When did your mother get sick?”
“Oh, Sam. I don’t really want to—”
He clasped her shoulders and looked deep into her eyes. “Tell me.”
“I had graduated from college and was in my second year of veterinary school when she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. She had no one but me. So I quit school to move back home and take care of her.”
“That’s why you didn’t finish?”
Corrie nodded, a huge lump in her throat, not because she had to quit school, but because she still missed her mother. She could feel the heat of Sam’s hands through his flannel shirt. She wanted to reach out and touch the stubble on his jaw. She wanted to let him hold her until his strength became hers and the missing and the loneliness went away.
“Why didn’t you go back?”
She remembered how her mother wouldn’t take any help from her father. They had both cut him out of their lives because he’d hurt them so badly. When a girl saw her dad with another woman, when he seemed to care more about that woman than about being a father and a husband, the pain of rejection cut deep. He’d made halfhearted attempts to see Corrie after he and her mother divorced, but Corrie hadn’t wanted to see him. The visits had been too awkward because Corrie had just wanted him to go away. Except, she really hadn’t. She’d just wanted her dad back—the dad he’d been before she’d caught him with a woman who wasn’t her mother.
“I didn’t go back to school because I’d used up my money paying for nursing care for Mom. I’m saving again. I’m still hoping to finish.”
“And if you have a baby?”
“I don’t have all the answers yet, Sam, but having a baby doesn’t mean I can’t finish school some day.”
He released her shoulders and stepped away, putting more than physical distance between them. “Better mix in the chocolate or the water will get cold.”
She wasn’t sure what had just happened, but something had. She might not be the only one unwilling to confide her secrets.
When they’d settled on the sofa, Patches raised his head but then went back to sleep, his nose close to Jasper’s.
“I’m surprised he doesn’t mind sharing his bed,” Corrie noticed.
“Patches never met a dog he didn’t like.”
She laughed and the tension that had cropped up between them dissipated.
Sam dipped his cookies into his hot chocolate and didn’t seem bothered when they disintegrated in it. She took hers apart, licked off the icing and ate one half at a time. As she did, she noticed Sam watching her.
She wiped her hand across her mouth. “Crumbs?” she asked.
“A few.” His voice was low and husky. With his thumb, he wiped the corner of her mouth.
She went very still. Time seemed to stop. Her breathing became shallower and faster.
Sam set his mug down on the coffee table. “I think I’ve had enough. I’m going to try to sleep again. You should, too.”
If she slept, she knew what fantasies would invade her dreams—Sam kissing her…Sam making love to her.
Indulging in fantasies would throw her off course. She wouldn’t let a man do that to her.
She would stay on course and become a mother—with or without Sam Barclay.
Sam came in the front door, the morning light brightening the cabin. The dogs followed him inside, and Corrie realized she hadn’t even heard them leave. Sam looked different this morning and she noticed why—he’d shaved off his beard.
“I’m going back to Rapid Creek with you today,” he announced. “I’ll follow you.”
She’d never expected this. “I didn’t think you’d come home until the end of the week.”
“I’m not sure the snow’s finished. I don’t want to see you get caught in it alone while you’re trying to drive home.”
It seemed Sam Barclay had a chivalrous streak. She should have known that but it had never been directed at her before. “I don’t need your protection, Sam. Really. I’ll be fine if you want to stay.”
“It’s time for me to go back. I’ll be packed in about a half hour.” Sam was keeping his distance this morning. She thought about last night on the sofa when he’d touched her so gently, so sensually, so temptingly.
“Have you made a decision about…anything else?”
“You’ll be the first one to know when I do.”
She felt herself blush. This new awareness between them was unsettling. It could be exciting, but she wouldn’t let excitement take hold, not with what they were considering. She needed Sam as a friend, not as the hunky object of a teenage-like crush. Hormones as an adult were still hormones. She could control them as she always had. She’d never understood women who found themselves in situations they couldn’t handle. Her mind had always ruled her body and she didn’t see that changing now.
Corrie picked up the towel she’d used on Jasper last night. “I’ll rub him down and then get a quick shower if that’s okay.”
“That’s fine. Just don’t stay in too long or you’ll run out of hot water.”
“Do you happen to have a hair dryer?” She thought he might laugh at her request.
Instead he frowned. “As a matter of fact, I do.” His voice went lower. “I brought Alicia up here once and she forgot it.”
Alicia. Alicia had been here with Sam.
Corrie knew without a doubt that the two of them hadn’t slept in separate rooms. Alicia Walker was the kind of woman who went after what she wanted and she’d wanted Sam. Corrie still didn’t know who’d broken the engagement but from the expression on Sam’s face, now wasn’t the time to ask.
Sam didn’t stay while she toweled Jasper. Apparently mentioning Alicia had brought up memories he didn’t want to think about. Maybe she was the one who had broken it off and he still wanted to be engaged. Maybe he still wanted to marry her.
When Corrie stepped into Sam’s bathroom, she realized it wasn’t as warm as the living room and she didn’t dawdle in the shower. She’d forgotten to ask for a fresh towel so she pulled Sam’s from the rack. It smelled like his soap and him. He rarely wore cologne. He’d told her after she’d been hired that some animals were skittish about smells.
After she vigorously toweled her hair and knew she wouldn’t be able to do anything about the ringlets without a curling iron, she began dressing. She’d snapped her jeans and just fastened her bra when there was a knock on the door. She froze.
“I have the hair dryer,” Sam called from the other side.
“Just a minute.” Quickly she tugged her sweater over her head and lifted out her wet hair. As she opened the door, she was breathless.
Sam’s gaze lingered on her wet hair. “You look different.” He handed her the hair dryer.
“Just wait. I’ll look like a dandelion gone to seed when I dry it with this.”
He laughed out loud. “Corrie, I should have talked to you about more than animals the past couple of years. You know how to laugh at yourself. Do you know what a rare quality that is?”
“I just say the truth before someone else can. It’s a defense mechanism.”
“Maybe it is.” As if he couldn’t help himself, he reached out and tugged a strand of her hair that had gotten caught under her sweater and freed it to lie on her shoulder. He looked as if he wanted to say something…or do something. His dark-brown eyes were unreadable, but she thought he leaned toward her just a bit. Then he was stepping back.
“Thanks, I’ll be finished in about five minutes,” she murmured.
“We’d better get going as soon as we can. I don’t like the looks of that sky.”
Fifteen minutes later, they were on the road. Jasper and Patches had chosen to hop into Sam’s van so Corrie led the procession, her mind racing. Would Sam decide to be her donor? And if he was, what then? Maybe both of their lives would be a lot simpler if she just went to a fertility clinic in Minneapolis. There was a good one there. Sam would be off the hook and she—
She just didn’t like the idea of being impregnated by a stranger’s sperm. Sam’s child…She smiled. Sam’s child would be a handful, she was sure.
Snow began to fall, big heavy flakes mixed with shards of ice. The roads were plowed but not altogether clear from the day before. Corrie glanced in the rearview mirror. Sam was concentrating on the space between their cars. She felt so pleased he’d decided to follow her. She had lived in Minnesota all of her life and wasn’t a stranger to driving on snowy roads. But the ice chips mixed with the snowflakes had her easing her foot off the accelerator and made her fingers grip the wheel tighter.
Corrie saw the mound of snow too late. The pile could have fallen from a vehicle as it was driven down the road. Wherever it had come from, as soon as her left front tire hit it, she went into a skid. Her anti-lock brakes kicked in but the car just wouldn’t stop coasting. She ended up with her left side in the snowbank across the road from where she should be. The snowbank went halfway up her window.
It all happened so fast, she was almost dizzy with the speed of it. Her side of the car tilted into the snowbank and she couldn’t see anything. She knew she had to get out and tell Sam she was okay, but she was still a little breathless from the skid—
The passenger-side door opened. She could hear barking—Jasper’s shorter barks and Patches’s more resounding ones. In an instant, Sam was inside the car, his voice worried, his expression set in stone.
“Corrie, don’t move. Just tell me if anything hurts.”
Hurts? She couldn’t be hurt. She’d simply crossed to the wrong side of the road. She was wearing her seat belt and reached to unfasten it. “I’m okay. I feel so stupid—”
He stayed her hand. “Trust me a minute. Take a deep breath.” He was studying her—her head, her face, her neck, her shoulders, her arms. “Can you move your legs okay?”
She wiggled her feet, then moved one leg at a time. Brushing his hand away from the seat belt, she unbuckled it. “I’m fine, Sam, really. I’m not a china doll.”
“Sometimes adrenaline kicks in after an accident. You can be hurt and not know it. Just sit still a minute.”
So she sat, turned to look at him, and gave him a weak smile. “It’s the car I’m worried about. Thank goodness the dogs were with you.”
“They’re having a fit. They wanted out of the van, but I just cracked a window. I need to know whether to call 911 or the towing service.”
“My seat belt kept me safe. Really.”
She turned her head from side to side and rolled her shoulders. “Everything works.”
“Think you can slide across the seat so you can get out?”
“Sure.”
He gave her another worried look then climbed out.
After she managed to transfer from the driver’s seat to the passenger seat, Sam offered his hand to help her out of the car. She took it and it felt so big and strong and warm. As soon as she was on her feet, he was holding her at her waist. His face was close to hers, their breaths mingling white in the cold.
“Are you dizzy?”
Any lightheadedness she might be feeling came from being this close to him, not from running into a snowbank. She shook her head.
All at once his arms went around her and he pulled her in for a hug. “When I saw your car fishtail—Jeez, you scared me.”
His head dipped a little closer to hers. She raised her chin. Their lips clung and held. Their New Year’s Eve kiss had been impulsive, exciting, so filled with sexual chemistry it had scared the living daylights out of her. But this kiss…
It was hungry, passionate, all-consuming…
Suddenly it was over and Sam was shaking his head and swearing. “I’m sorry, Corrie. I—”
He was sorry? “Why?”
“Because you were just in an accident. I was more panicked than I wanted to be. We were both reacting. It wasn’t…real.”
Not real? That kiss had been real to her, but Sam obviously wasn’t looking at it the same way she was. He clearly didn’t want to admit there was any attraction between them this time any more than he’d wanted to recognize it after their first kiss. She couldn’t let on how much it affected her…how much she’d wanted it. How very right it had seemed.
“If you don’t want it to be real, then it wasn’t real. It never happened,” she stated matter-of-factly as she dug into the pocket of her jacket and pulled out her cell phone. “I’ll call the auto club. I’m afraid we’re going to be stuck here for a while.”
“We can sit in the van,” he assured her, his words even and tempered as she speed-dialed the auto club.
Forty-five minutes later, the tow truck arrived and pulled her car out of the snowbank. The mechanic looked over it and said, “I don’t think you should drive it. The tire isn’t flat but it could be punctured by the rim. The car’s definitely out of alignment. We need to check that axle, too.”
“We’re headed for Rapid Creek,” Sam said. “Can you work on it tomorrow?”
“Not likely. There were three other accidents. First come, first served. It will probably be Wednesday until I get to it.”
Corrie felt as if she were going to cry and knew that was a ridiculous reaction. There had been a palpable tension between her and Sam as they’d waited in his van. A different kind of tension than after their New Year’s Eve kiss.
They were still an hour from Rapid Creek. The tow truck had come from Calumet, fifteen minutes west of where they were now. “I can do without the car. I can walk to work. But I’ll have to find someone to drive me to your garage when it’s finished.”
“I’ll drive you back up here,” Sam said firmly. “Is there anything you need in your car before he takes it?”
Since she’d already snagged her purse, she shook her head. “No.”
“Then sign right here,” the mechanic said, offering her his clipboard. “Make sure you give me a phone number where I can reach you.”
Corrie jotted down her home phone as well as her cell phone number. Five minutes later, she was inside Sam’s van again with the dogs in the backseat.
At first they’d barked and licked and made sure they’d gotten her attention. But after a few pets, scratches and a “We’re going home now” they’d settled down. She, however, hadn’t settled down. Beside Sam in his vehicle, she was too aware of what had happened between them. Too aware that this was a one-sided attraction and if she didn’t call off the sperm donation, she’d be headed for…heartache. Whether she had a crush on the man or simply growing feelings for him, either would lead her down a painful road.
The snow finally stopped falling as they reached the outskirts of Rapid Creek. Sam had been silent during the drive until he pulled up in front of the apartment complex where she lived. “Are you still feeling okay?” he asked gruffly.
“I told you. I’m fine.”
His frown deepened. “I’m going in with you.”
“Sam.”
“I’m going in with you. You can move around a bit, feed Jasper, just make sure all your parts are working okay.”
Rolling her eyes, she unbuckled her seat belt and climbed out of his van. Sam opened the back door and called for the dogs. They followed them up the curved path to the complex. Jasper ran inside the town house and danced around the kitchen until Corrie filled his food dish. Sam kept an eagle eye on her while Patches sniffed everything in sight. She wouldn’t have minded that eagle eye if he’d been watching her for something other than symptoms from the accident.
“Do you always keep your place this straightened up?” he asked.
She wasn’t a clean freak, but she was neat. She had tidied up before she’d left for his cabin. “I usually put things away after I use them.” Her voice was a little more clipped than it should be, but she was tired, feeling the effects of the drive and everything that had happened, not to mention not getting much sleep last night.
“Is there anything you need before I go?”
She approached him, looking him squarely in the eye. “I don’t need anything from you, Sam. That includes your sperm if you have the slightest hint of a doubt about donating it. I only asked you because I thought it would be…easier. But now I’m not so sure. So whether you do it or not doesn’t really matter. I’ll have a baby with or without you.”
She knew that look. The hollow in his cheek twitched just a little and his brow creased. He was keeping his temper in check. “I’ll give you my answer in a few days. Do you want me to pick you up for work tomorrow morning?”
“That won’t be necessary.”
After a long look at her, he headed for the door but he stopped with his hand on the knob. “If you get a headache or you feel dizzy, I don’t care who you call, but call someone. Promise me that.”
She was an employee of his and in that respect, he did care. “I promise,” she said solemnly.
Whistling for Patches, Sam left with his dog and shut the door behind him.
Corrie sank down to the sofa, laid her head back against the cushion and wondered what in the world she’d gotten herself into.
Chapter Three
Sam didn’t like the way he’d left Corrie’s town house yesterday. He didn’t like it at all. And when she came into the clinic this morning…
Corrie was usually high-energy, efficient movement, cheery brightness. He’d always taken those qualities for granted. Today when she entered through the back door where he and Eric were talking about their schedule for the week, she gave them a smile that didn’t quite come off as a smile, waved, said hi then went into the small lounge next to the kennel where she usually hung her coat.
Eric exchanged a look with Sam. “I wonder if she had a late night. Did you see those shadows under her eyes?”
Eric prided himself on being a connoisseur of women. He dated as many different ones as he could. Sam didn’t know if Corrie had had a late night last night but he did know she’d been in an accident yesterday, and he wasn’t going to go into a long explanation about that with his partner. He was worried. She looked pale and those circles under her eyes were dark. As he was about to go into the lounge to check on her, the receptionist, Jenny Newcomer, came in. She was fifty, loved animals and ran the office efficiently.
“Heads up,” she said now. “Two Dobermans are on their way in. Is Corrie around?”
Corrie reappeared in the doorway to the lounge. “Jenny, could you pull their charts for me? I’ll put them in exam room two.”
Sam said, “I’ll get them,” his gaze still on Corrie. She looked tense. Was this all because she wanted him to be a sperm donor? Maybe they just needed a little conversation.
As she was about to go to the reception area, he clasped her elbow. “I took Patches over to Nathan’s this morning because I knew I’d be busy catching up all day. Did you leave Jasper at your place?”
“Yes.”
Her voice didn’t sound as strong as it usually did when she continued, “I’ll go home at lunch to let him out. That’s the routine I followed while you were away. I hope that’s okay. Eric didn’t seem to mind.”
“That’s fine. Your lunch break is your own. Are you—” He didn’t get the chance to finish as two Dobermans entered the reception area, barking for all they were worth.
Corrie took that opportunity to escape Sam’s prying eyes and motioned to the dogs’ owner to follow her to the examination room.
When Sam took over a few minutes later, Corrie slipped away as if she didn’t want to be around him. That bothered him.
Midmorning, Sam entered Tabitha’s examination room. Tabitha was a twenty-pound yellow tiger cat who was here for a general checkup including clipping her nails and a rabies shot.
“I’ll get her weight,” Corrie assured him as she began to lift the cat from her carrier.
Sam was about to ask Mrs. Clemson, the owner, a few questions when he heard Corrie’s exclamation, saw her wince and quickly let go of the animal.
“Corrie?” He knew he sounded worried, but he couldn’t help that. He went around the table, took her by the arm and led her outside the room. Over his shoulder he told Mrs. Clemson, “I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
“What’s wrong?” he asked Corrie once they were standing in the hall.
She was really pale now.
“Don’t tell me nothing,” he warned her. “You’re not fine. I want to know what’s going on.”
When she turned away from him, he laid his hand on her shoulder and squeezed gently.
The spark of defiance was gone when she finally replied, “When I breathe—I woke up around 4:00 a.m. and I just felt…bruised. Each time I take a breath it hurts. Not a lot, but when I went to lift Tabitha, I really hurt.”
“I’m taking you to the emergency room.”
“Sam—”
“No arguing. You were in an accident yesterday and I should have made you get checked out then. Go sit in the lounge until I talk to Eric and call Doc.” Sam and Eric had bought the practice from Doc Merkle. Retired now, he helped them when needed.
“But what if it’s nothing?”
“If it’s nothing, Doc can go back home when I return. Go sit and I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
Fifteen minutes later, Sam was ushering Corrie into the emergency room feeling panicked. He was regretting even more leaving her the way he had yesterday, though he tried to tell himself her symptoms hadn’t appeared until the middle of the night.
Still…
It didn’t take a man with a genius IQ to figure out that Corrie wasn’t a woman who liked to be taken care of. She was obviously used to being on her own and didn’t want to depend on him.
She proved that when the technician took her back to an examination room and she adamantly refused to have him accompany her.
So he waited—pacing, paging through a magazine, pacing again. He didn’t like this churned-up sensation. He definitely didn’t like feeling as if this were his fault somehow. He had patience but not an endless supply. He hated hospitals as much as the next person, but hated waiting in one even more. After an hour, he’d had enough.
When the coast was clear, he opened the door leading to the examination rooms. There were only five. Finally he heard Corrie’s voice and he headed for number three. The rooms were more like cubicles and had curtains that slid across the front. Corrie’s curtain was partially open.
Sam stepped into the room. She was dressed in a hospital gown and looked so fragile he wanted to go to her and put his arms around her. What an odd sensation that was! He just kept telling himself he cared about her because she was his employee.
“What’s wrong with her?” he asked the doctor as they both turned to look at him.
Before Corrie could protest, he extended his hand to the doctor, read his name tag, and introduced himself. “I’m Sam Barclay. I was with Corrie yesterday when the accident happened.”
The doctor shook Sam’s hand, but Corrie was the one who spoke up. “I’m bruised from the seat belt. That’s all. The doctor’s going to give me something to relax the muscles and I’ll be fine in a few days.”
“She works for me and handles animals,” Sam told the doctor. “Should she be lifting?”
Since the cat was out of the bag, so to speak, the doctor relented and explained to Sam, “She should take it easy for a few days. By the end of the week, she should be ready for normal activity. But if you really want my recommendation, I’d say wait until next week to lift any animals, and then not fifty-pounders.”
“I can’t take off all week,” Corrie protested.
“Yes, you can. You have sick leave,” Sam replied.
“But who’s going to get the charts ready and weigh the animals and make sure you don’t scare them to death?”
Seeing Sam’s glare at Corrie, the doctor said, “The prescription will be waiting for you at the desk. As soon as you’re dressed, you can leave. Stop there to check out.” Then he left the exam room.
“Eric and I can manage for a few days. Stop worrying,” Sam assured her.
He saw the rebellion leave Corrie’s eyes and when it did, they became shiny with emotion. Going to her, he sat beside her on the examination table and wrapped his arm around her. “You’re not superwoman, Corrie. You just need to rest for a few days.”
She was looking down at her hands and he suspected why. Lifting her chin with his finger, he saw the tear running down her cheek. He didn’t think twice about pulling her close to him.
As soon as he did, he knew it was a mistake. She smelled like peaches and vanilla. Her curls were silky against his cheek. She was a soft bundle of woman and he was getting turned on.
What had happened to him since Corrie had appeared at his cabin? He’d been a monk since August and had liked it that way. But now the heat rising from his body, the heat from Corrie’s, the beating of their hearts that now seemed to be in sync totally unsettled him.
He stiffened.
She felt the reaction and pulled away.
Both of them were embarrassed.
Finally, she murmured, “If you leave, I can get dressed.”
He left, relieved and yet let down at the same time.
On the way to Corrie’s apartment, Sam stopped at the pharmacy to have her prescription filled. She didn’t say a word from when they left the hospital to when they arrived at her town house. He couldn’t tell if she was hurting that badly or just upset with the whole situation.
Jasper greeted her when she unlocked the door. Sam imagined she usually stooped down to pet and play with the cocker spaniel when she came home. To offer her an alternative, he suggested, “Go sit on the couch and he’ll jump up beside you.”
Corrie gave him a look that told him clearly she didn’t want his suggestions. But after she took off her coat, she sat on the sofa and he had to hide a smile. Corrie might be independent, but she was reasonable, too. That was good to know.
Why was that good to know?
He tucked that question away.
She looked surprised when he removed his jacket. “Aren’t you going back to the clinic?”
“I’m going to make sure you have everything you need first.”
“I have everything I need.” Her voice was strained and he’d gotten the message she just wanted to be left alone. But he wasn’t leaving the same way he had last night. Today he’d make sure she was taken care of before he went back to work.
He strode into her sunny yellow kitchen, noticing the philodendron on the windowsill, the gingham place mats on the table and the matching gingham curtains at the window. After he opened the refrigerator, he shook his head. Yogurt and lettuce. Not a great combination in his estimation. The rest of the shelves were bare. Checking her cupboards, he discovered Corrie only bought what she needed. There was a can of this, a box of that and nothing substantial. Her freezer held two frozen dinners. That wasn’t food as far as he was concerned.
In the living room, he picked up his jacket. “I’m going to buy you some groceries.”
“No, you’re not.”
Crossing to the sofa, he crouched down in front of her. Jasper had jumped down onto the floor and was now pattering around him as if he wanted to go out.
“First, I’m going to take Jasper out. That way you don’t have to. Then I’m going to the deli and buy you real food.”
“Like the corned beef you like?” She wrinkled her nose. “Spare me.”
“You’ve made it clear several times you don’t think much of Reuben sandwiches. I get that. But they have great soups, their own baked turkey and an assortment of salads. I’ll bring a little of each.”
“It will just go to waste.”
“Not if I eat lunch with you.”
She turned questioning eyes to his, and her voice wobbled when she asked, “Why are you doing this, Sam?”
He could see she wanted a straight answer. The best he could come up with was, “I regret not taking you to the emergency room yesterday. I should have called emergency services after your accident. I let you convince me nothing was wrong—”
“Nothing was wrong,” she reminded him. “At least nothing I knew about.”
“You should have called me when you woke up and had trouble breathing.”
Rising to his feet, he zipped up his jacket. “You’re too independent, Corrie. If you’re even going to consider having a child, you need a network of people around you who can help out. I’ve seen it with Nathan. Sure Kyle needs his dad, but he needed a mother, too, and now he has Sara. My dad is always on the sidelines helping out and so is Val, Nathan’s housekeeper. I’m around when Kyle just wants to have fun, and Ben fills another spot he needs to have filled. We’re all necessary. Kids thrive when a variety of people care about them, especially if they don’t have brothers and sisters.”
She looked down at her lap, then raised serious eyes to his. “You and I grew up very differently, Sam. I was a loner. Other kids made fun of my hair and my freckles so I concentrated on schoolwork. I found friends in books and my mom was my best friend. After my parents divorced, she worked overtime to supplement what Dad gave us. I took care of myself. Would I want my child to grow up as I did? Maybe not. But I learned self-sufficiency and that’s a good thing.”
He studied those freckles that other kids had made fun of. Reaching out, he dragged his thumb over them. She went still, and he saw that same awareness in her eyes that he was feeling.
Straightening, he commanded, “Come on, Jasper. Let’s take a walk.” Picking up the dog’s leash on a table near the door, he attached it to Jasper’s collar. “I’ll be back in a little while and then we’ll talk about what you really want for lunch.”
Opening the door, he felt as if he were escaping from a powder-keg situation. One too many sparks and…what? He’d kiss her again?
When his imagination started running rampant, he gratefully let the January cold seep into him. Maybe he could freeze his libido into submission.
Sam walked into his brother’s house two hours later as he always did…without knocking. This time, however, he didn’t find Val in the kitchen cooking or Kyle in the living room playing with his fire trucks. What he caught sight of was Nathan and Sara on the sofa kissing. They were so absorbed in each other they didn’t even know he was there.
He cleared his throat…very loudly.
They broke apart like guilty teenagers and both laughed as they spotted him.
“We should have locked the door,” Nathan growled.
Sara rose to her feet first, her pretty face flushed. “Patches is over at the lodge with Kyle and your dad.”
“It’s early for you to be heading home for the day,” Nathan remarked. “Or has Doc decided he likes working at the clinic again and you’re going to shorten your hours?”
“No chance of that. I did have to call him today, though. Something came up and I had to leave for a while. I thought I’d take Patches back with me.”
“Why don’t I go get Kyle and Patches,” Sara suggested heading for the hook at the back door where her coat hung. She motioned to the canister on the counter. “Freshly baked oatmeal cookies are in there.” She stopped in front of Sam. “I’m glad you’re back in plenty of time for the wedding.”
“Have you decided on a honeymoon?”
When Nathan and Sara had come to the cabin after the New Year to tell him their good news and their wedding date, they hadn’t decided yet about going away.
“I made reservations in St. Cloud for two nights,” Nathan explained. “We don’t want to be away from Kyle any longer than that right now. He’s still adjusting to having Sara as a mom.”
“I’ll be right back,” Sara promised, opening the door. She blew Nathan a kiss and then was gone.
Nathan, looking happier than Sam had ever seen him, crossed to the counter and pulled out the cookie jar. “Interested?”
Sam was still worried about Corrie. He didn’t like the idea that she was at her place alone when she didn’t feel her best. “No, I’m fine.”
“Turning down homemade cookies? What’s wrong, Sam?”
“Nothing’s wrong.”
“Why did you need a few hours away from the clinic when you just got back?” Nathan asked, in that olderbrother, I-want-to-know-everything tone.
“As I said—”
“Something came up…” Nathan filled in dryly.
“Yeah.”
This morning, when he’d dropped off Patches, Sam hadn’t gone into detail about why he’d returned to Rapid Creek before Friday, when he’d planned to drive home. He could spar with his brother and sidestep his questions, but there was no point in postponing the inevitable. Sam didn’t keep much from Nathan or Ben and the same was true with them. They’d always been available for each other at the important times in their lives.
Unzipping his jacket, Sam shrugged it off and hung it around one of the chairs at the table. “You know Corrie Edwards?”
“Sure.”
“She came up to the cabin on Saturday.”
Nathan’s brows arched and he waited.
“You’re not going to believe this, but she wants to have a baby. She wants me to donate my sperm.”
“You’re not thinking about doing it, are you?”
Sam remained silent.
“Sam?”
“I’m not sure how to say this, Nathan. I don’t want to compare my situation to yours, but you lost a baby when Kyle was born and I know you know how that feels.”
Nathan’s first wife had died in childbirth and Kyle’s twin had died with her. Colleen had had trouble conceiving. Although the couple hadn’t known it at the time, Sara had been the one to donate her eggs to help them. Nathan had returned to Rapid Creek with Kyle to recover from his loss. But he hadn’t truly recovered until Sara had come into his life this past November.
“You’re talking about Alicia’s abortion.”
“Yeah, I am. When I found out she’d terminated her pregnancy—It just tore me up. That was my baby, my son or daughter.”
“I do know how hard that must have been.”
“Let’s face it, Nathan. When our mother left, it damaged all of us in ways we didn’t even know. We saw what it did to Dad but we were just as affected. Somehow you managed to forget about her. When you married Colleen, you picked a good woman, and now with Sara you’ve chosen wisely again.”
“She’s the best.”
Sam knew Nathan meant that and he agreed. He liked Sara a lot. “I think you made up your mind that our mother was just one selfish woman who wanted a Ph.D., life in a big city and her future in England more than she wanted us. But Ben and I—I think we believe all women are like her—selfish, with their own agendas. I mean, why couldn’t I see just who Alicia was? Why couldn’t I see children were the farthest thing from her mind? Oh, sure, we talked about having kids and she said she wanted them someday. But to her someday was way off in the future and I didn’t realize that. I picked someone exactly like our mother. I just can’t see me ever getting married.”
“So you’re actually considering Corrie’s idea?”
“At first I thought it was ludicrous. I thought she was crazy to want me to father her child. But the more I think about it…I realize it would be a way to be a dad without all the complications of marriage.”
Nathan was already shaking his head. “You might not have marriage complications, but there will be complications. It’s hard enough to raise a child when two people are connected. Sara and I still have differences of opinion sometimes on what’s best for Kyle. She’s helping me see I’ve been way too protective. We keep reminding each other we’re looking in the same direction. We both want what’s best for Kyle. But for two people who are relative strangers to try to parent together—”
“You and Sara were strangers before November. If Corrie and I become friends, we’ll be able to parent.”
“Are you trying to convince me or yourself?”
“I just know the idea…appeals to me.”
“So what was the emergency today? Why did you need time off?”
Sam told his brother about the accident and what had happened at the clinic this morning.
At his brother’s concerned expression, Sam was quick to assure him, “She’s going to be okay. The doc at the E.R. said the seat belt bruised her. I picked up groceries and lunch for her.”
Away from Corrie now, Sam told himself he really wasn’t attracted to her. He was just finally over Alicia and he was coming alive again with the realization he hadn’t been with a woman for a long time. But when he closed his eyes, he saw those freckles on Corrie’s nose. He remembered how her curls fell around her face. He recalled the sensation of holding her in his arms.
“So what are you going to do?” Nathan asked him.
“I’m going back to the clinic and concentrate on work. I won’t do anything until I know for sure what I should do.”
“That sounds reasonable, but I just want to warn you, Sam—when kids and women are involved, reason doesn’t always do a whole lot of good.”
That was something Sam could think about while he was figuring out whether or not he wanted to be a dad.
Corrie relaxed in her recliner, Jasper on the floor right beside her, the nightly news flickering on the TV. She should get up and let Jasper out, but her ribs hurt and taking deep breaths wasn’t a whole lot of fun. The doctor had told her today would probably be her worst day. She hoped he was right.
She just hated the fact that Sam had seen her like this, had seen her helpless. She hated feeling that way, always had and always would. She’d been helpless to stop the string of events that had occurred after she’d found her dad being unfaithful. She’d thought about not telling her mother, about not ever, ever telling anyone. But her dad had admitted to his wife what had happened, and everything had gone downhill after that. Corrie had been helpless to prevent the divorce, to prevent her mother’s sadness, to prevent the crumbling of the life their family had known. And in some way she’d felt as if it were her fault. If she just hadn’t gone looking for her dad that day—
She’d also felt powerless when her mom was diagnosed with cancer. That had been the worst kind of powerless. By quitting school and taking care of her mom, she’d known she was doing something to help. She’d never regret those two years. Never. She and her mom had gotten closer than they’d ever been before.
Corrie’s doorbell startled her and Jasper. On guard instantly, the dog stood at alert then ran to the door and barked. Corrie lowered the recliner’s leg lift and went to the foyer to peer through the peephole.
It was Sam. Why had he returned? She certainly had enough food in the house now, thanks to him.
After she unlocked the dead bolt and the doorknob, she pulled open the door. Patches sat beside Sam’s leg, his tongue lolling out of his mouth. She only had a glance for the dog. Sam looked serious but oh, so handsome. His hair had seen a day of disheveling. He often ran his fingers through it when he was working.
“How are you feeling?” he asked.
Instead of fighting against his concern, she answered honestly, “Like I want to curl up in a ball until I can face the world again feeling better.”
At that he smiled. “I thought I’d check on you before I settled in for the night. I can take Jasper for a short walk.”
“You don’t have to—” She stopped herself. “Thank you. I’d appreciate that and I’m sure Jasper would, too. Come on in. Have you been at the clinic until now?”
As he followed her into the living room, she was aware of everything about him, from his hair dipping over his brow to his terrifically broad shoulders to his slim hips in jeans to his black-booted feet, which were very big. This was Sam and she didn’t know why she felt so awkward around him, but she did. Maybe because he’d seen her in a hospital gown!
She sank down onto the sofa trying not to jar her ribs.
Sam frowned as he watched her. “Are you sure you’re going to be okay by yourself here tonight?”
“I’m not by myself. I have Jasper.”
He gave her a get-real look.
“I can sack out on your couch,” he offered.
That offer was tempting. On one hand, she’d like to have him around. Yet, on the other, she’d probably rest a lot better if he wasn’t here.
“Not necessary.”
Opening his jacket, sitting down beside her on the sofa, he rested his palms on his jeans-clad thighs.
“You might want to get used to having me around,” he quipped. Then, more seriously, he added, “Because I’ve decided to be your sperm donor. I want to be a dad to your baby.”
Chapter Four
“Have you told anyone yet?” Corrie broke the silence between her and Sam as they sat in her obstetrician’s office early Thursday morning.
On Monday night Sam had agreed to help her have a baby. Yesterday she’d gone back to work. But ever since he’d given her his answer, there’d been an awkwardness between them. Because they were entering uncharted territory? Because Sam might be having second thoughts? Because she couldn’t sleep at night, considering the fact that if she used a stranger’s sperm, the process could be a whole lot easier?
After a glance at a pregnant woman who seemed to be engrossed reading a magazine, and a look toward the receptionist behind the glass window who was busy typing on a keyboard, Sam leaned closer to Corrie. “I told Nathan I was considering donating my sperm.”
“Let me guess,” Corrie returned in the same low voice. “He didn’t approve.”
Sam’s brows arched. “It wasn’t that he didn’t approve. He just wanted me to understand how complicated this could be. Even he and Sara don’t always agree on what’s best for Kyle.”
“Nathan and Colleen tried in vitro, didn’t they?”
Scuttlebutt in a town the size of Rapid Creek echoed from one end to the other. Even before Nathan had moved back to Rapid Creek with Kyle, the rumor that he and his first wife had wanted children badly but had had problems conceiving had made the rounds. Whether Galen, Nathan’s dad, had told a friend and that friend had told someone else, it was common knowledge that Nathan and Colleen had used an egg donor.
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